Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
do herpes really smell.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
