i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
