another moral hangover. fuck.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
