I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
