Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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