"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
