Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
