just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
