Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
