sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Oh god it's open bar.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize