i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
