I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
