so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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