Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
