i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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