it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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