walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
