Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Panties = found
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
