Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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