you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
