Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
