just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
