I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
