i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
