At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
