"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
