For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
