Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Enjoy the penises
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
