If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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