Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
