where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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