Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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