I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
