We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
