I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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