plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
