i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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