He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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