Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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