Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize