u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I cockslap morals
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
