He kissed a someone with a penis
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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