Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
