I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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