I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
