my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
