I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
