don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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