I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
My ATM looks so different sober.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
40s are totally the cure
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
