xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I should be sponsored by Trojan
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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