i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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