I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
