Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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