So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
