Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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