Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
