Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
My ass is underappreciated
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
