Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
