Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
